iEgg Miss Briggs
by obsessive-elphaba
Summary: Sam and Freddie sneak out and egg Miss Briggs place for iCarly, live. But somewhere along the way, it doesn't turn out that way. Seddie? Doy! Minor Melanie/Carly.
1. Chapter 1

_**iEgg Miss Briggs  
**__An iCarly fiction! Full front on Seddie!  
R&R plz  
_**~fandango2girl**

It was thirty seconds until live. Carly and Spencer were in the iCarly studio getting the camera set up. Carly fluffed her hair a bit. "In five, four, three, two..." Spencer imitated Freddie perfectly.

"Hello, people who are on the internet! I'm Carly! And this is iCarly!" Carly pressed the applaud button on the blue remote. "I'm sure by now you're wondering where Sam is, well that's for a later bit!"

During that time, Sam Puckett was crouched behind the bushes. "Hurry up, Benson." She hissed.

"If you would've helped me carry them, I'd be there by now!" He scoffed, carrying ten dozen eggs in their rightful packaging.

"I could help you, but I choose not to." Sam smiled simply.

"You know what, Puckett, your lack of cooperation is really getting on my nerves!" Freddie snapped.

"Oh is it now?" Sam asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Yeah. It is." He stated.

"What are you gonna do about it now?"

"I don't know but it's-"

"You know what I'm gonna do?" She asked.

"What?"

"This." Sam threw one of the eggs.

"Hey, Sam! Stop that!" Sam threw another.

"Stop what?" She blinked innocently.

"Okay, that's it." Freddie grabbed an egg of his own and chucked it. It wasn't long before they were having an all out war.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"All right," Carly smiled into the camera after the video played, "as mentioned before, Sam is missing tonight. Well, right now, she and Freddie are waiting in front of Miss Briggs' place. Why? Because right here, live, they're going to egg Miss Briggs!" Carly pressed the applaud button on Sam's blue remote. "Lets just go to the monitor and talk to them." She nodded to Spencer, who pressed the red button on Freddie's tech-belt thingy. The monitor swung open and showed a darker scene with two recognizable characters. The dirty blonde, and tech-dork seemed to be enjoying themselves because what the world was viewing right now are two publicly known enemies sitting in the bushes, making out. That's what it really, really, really looked like anyway. "Sam." Carly dared mutter, knowing something must be up for those two to be sucking face like that. "Sam!" She called again, but the girl did not respond. "Well, obviously Sam has turned her mic off." Carly smiled awkwardly.

"Oh, hold on, I got this." Spencer said, reaching into his pocket. "I'll call Sam." He nodded.

Carly smiled. "Way to use your head, Spence." Back on the monitor Sam seemed to realize her phone ringing, reluctantly pull away from the brunette and answered.

A soft "What!" could be heard, despite having her mic off.

"What is it?"

"We're live!"

"What!!!!" The two freaked before awkwardly turning to the camera.

"Hey, Carls..." Sam had turned on her mic.

"Sup..." Freddie nodded.

"Uhmm, why don't you tell the viewing world what you're going to do?" Carly offered.

"Oh, right!" Sam jumped. "We're gonna use ten dozen eggs and pelt Miss Briggs' house!" She smiled brightly, covering her embarrassment.

"I hope I pass my English test tomorrow." Freddie smiled unnaturally.

"Let's just get our ammunition." Sam opened a carton and picked up an egg. She took aim before slugging it at the brick house in the distance. They fumbled with the boxes and turned to the camera.

"We seem to have run out of eggs." Freddie stammered.

"You ran out of eggs!" Carly shouted, disappointed.

The two looked each other over. Sam spoke up. "We had an egg fight."

Carly turned back to the iCarly audience and muttered, "Well, I guess we won't be egging Miss Briggs." She smiled awkwardly. "So, I guess we'll have to wrap the show up early tonight. See ya next week." Carly waved slowly.

"And... we're clear." Spencer announced.

* * *

_Do you guys think I should continue this? It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but I dunno anymore. Should I continue? Review! The wonderful Danwarp owns iCarly_

**~fandango2girl**


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you guys insane!" Carly paced angrily yelling at her friends. "What happened? How could you run out of eggs." Sam and Freddie looked very guilty. "And the kissing thing? How'd that happen?"

"Carls, I can explain." Sam sat up. "Freddie was feeling very snippity and threw an egg at the house beforehand so I tried to –"

"Hey!" Freddie snapped. "Don't even try to pin this on me!" He looked upset. "We were fighting with the eggs and then something happened."

"Yeah, we aren't really sure who jumped who first."

"Are you crazy? You jumped me!" Freddie shouted

"Then how come you were on top?" Sam snapped.

"Cuz I was trying to push you off!"

"While at the same time twisting tongues!"

"You guys kissed with tongue!" Carly shrieked.

The bickering halted. The two simultaneously blushed. "Oh my god!" Carly groaned.

"Guys!" Spencer ran into the living room. Unlike a normal guardian, he didn't care about the egg covered kids sitting on his favorite couch. "Great performance tonight!" Spencer cheered.

"But we ruined the show." Freddie said.

"Wrong! The viewers loved the whole make out thing! I was reading some feedback and they're all like 'Sam and Freddie are dating! OMG! That is so cool!' and stuff!"

"Gross." Sam said in monotone.

"Coming from you." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Coming from both of you!" Carly snapped. Once again, the two fell silent. "What else did they say?"

"Uhmm... shame they didn't get to egg Briggs, but that was some killer kissing right there. Hope to see some more of that. Maybe you could make it a segment on iCarly."

"Egging Miss Briggs?" Sam asked. That would be fun.

"No, you and Freddie making out while we ruin it." Spencer looked up from the printed document.

"Great! You've corrupted the viewers as well!" Carly sighed. "Our comedy was supposed to be nice and clean."

"In our defense, no teenage mind is nice _and _clean." Freddie shrugged. Carly glared at him. He was supposed to take her side, not defend Sam. "I'd be all for the idea." He half grinned. Carly expected Sam to kick his butt for saying such a thing. And since when did Freddie – Fredward Benson, target of Sam's pain – even think of her in that way?

Sam did, at a degree, glare at him. "What?" She asked, though her voice was shaky.

"I admit it..." Freddie blushed a bit. "I like Sam."

Sam looked a bit shocked. "You aren't going to follow me around and stalk me like you did Carly?"

"Not if you go on a date with me." He seemed hopeful.

* * *

**A/N: **_Cliffy! Haha, eat my stories up while the summer lasts cuz I am _**serious business **_when it comes to school. No more fun little chapter fics. Maybe a one-shot now and then, but I want to be able to go to NYU, and grades, hard work, and extra-curricular activities are the way for it :). Broadway, look out! fandango2girl is coming!_

_**Oh yeah, Dan the man owns iCarly**  
_


	3. Chapter 3

"You wanna date Sam?" Carly asked. It was a new thing in this world.

"Why?" Sam asked, mortified, and red faced.

"Cuz you're hot." He replied. "And it's cool how you aren't afraid to stand up for yourself and stuff."

Sam was blushing deeply.

"Just one date. Please?" He begged. Ugh, he sounded like little kid Freddie.

"Umm, Freddie, I hate to put it bluntly..." Carly muttered. "But I don't think Sam will ever love you."

"She doesn't have to love me. Just go on a date with me."

"And he wonders why he doesn't have a girlfriend..." Sam shook her head.

"Freddie, really, you should leave her alone." The brunette girl knew the annoyance that was Fredward Benson with a crush.

"Just one date."

"One date?" Sam asked. "And you swear you'll leave me alone?"

"Uh huh!" Freddie smiled. "We can have EGGS and bacon!" He laughed to himself and left.

"Sam? Are you insane?" Carly hissed.

"What?" The blonde looked up.

"You actually think Freddie is going to leave you alone?"

"Relax, I'll send my sister Melanie." Sam rolled her eyes and slunk in the couch. "I'm gonna go raid your fridge."

"No, take a shower! You're covered in eggs."

"Oh yeah..." Sam muttered looking down at her yolky clothes.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_So, here it is. The shortest chapter yet! If you think I should just end it here as a funny little Sam-tricked-Freddie thing, tell me. Or do you want me to do the date and Freddie finding out etc looooong multi-chapter fic? REVIEW IT OR SCREW IT! Okay, l8er. BTW I changed my name!  
~obsessive-elphaba_


	4. Chapter 4

**Dedicated to: xoxoalexalex! It's her 13th b-day... yesterday! Happy b-day!  
****Disclaimer: iCarly is NOT, nor will it ever be, MINE**

Freddie anxiously awaited his date. He was dressed in a nice collar shirt and khaki pants, but not too formal. He didn't expect Sam to wear a dress or something. As he sat at the restaurant, Freddie wondered if Sam would even show up. She probably already guessed that not coming would've broken his heart in two. "Excuse me, Freddie?" A voice said. Looking up, there was Sam. She was far too dressed up...

"Uh... uh, Sam?" She was beautiful, yes. But... it seemed like something Sam would never do. Wear a dress! Please. _Or_ maybe she was doing this so he wouldn't concentrate on the date. He smirked, loving the sinister plan. "You look very beautiful tonight."

"Why thank you." Sam smiled. "You're not so bad yourself." Hold the phone. Sam Puckett did not giggle.

"Oh hey, watch this." Freddie wadded up a bit of his napkin, stuck it in his mouth, put a straw to his lips, and blew. The paper ball hit a waiter right in the back of the head. This was the part where Sam would say something on the lines of "Step aside, Fredweird, cuz I can do so much better than that."

Instead, Sam said, "Ew, that's gross! Do you know where that paper's been?" He wanted to contradict with something, but found it far too confusing. Sam never thought spitballs were gross. In fact, he had to sterilize his shirt from so many hitting him in the back in English class. English class. Miss Briggs taught that class.

"You remember how last week on iCarly we ran out of eggs on the show?" He laughed, because, come on, it was pretty funny.

"Yeah. That was insane! What were you two doing out there? Sam's already in enough trouble." Sam paused, as if she said something wrong.

In Freddie's book, she had. "Why are you reffering to yourself in third person _Sam_?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Uh..." Sam stuttered, also a very non-Sam-like move.

"You're not Sam are you?"

"Freddie..." The girl reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Who are you then? You aren't that look alike. Who are you?"

The girl looked down, defeated. "Melanie."

"Who?" Freddie was feeling so many things right now. He was confused; he was angry; he was humiliated, but most of all, he was hurt.

"I'm Sam's twin." She looked up. "She said you wanted to go on a date with her, and I thought you were really cute so... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you..." Melanie wasn't the one that needed to apologize.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Sam and Carly sat on the couch watching Girly Cow in the studio when they heard it. The door opened and slammed. "SAM!!" They didn't need to look up to know it was the technical dork.

"Hey, Fredison-" She didn't say anymore as he slapped her across the face.

"Freddie!" Carly gasped. That wasn't supposed to happen.

"You thought I wouldn't find out about Melanie? You thought I was dumb. Just because you two look alike doesn't mean you aren't polar opposites!" He snarled. Sam had never seen Freddie so angry. She was scared to death, but at the same time, wowed. Who knew Freddie was... tough? Well, tough enough to make one smack in the face feel like you were hit with dry ice.

"I didn't THINK anything!" She snapped back. "I sent Melanie there because I didn't want to go on a date with the likes of you!"

The two heard a clicking sound. Turning to the source, they saw Carly out the door, key in hands. "Until you guys can resolve this conflict, I'm not letting you out!"

"Carls!" Sam groaned, at the same time as Freddie said "What?"

Carly walked away to the stairwell. "What if we have to pee!?" Sam shouted before turning back to Freddie. "Great, this is all _your _fault Benson."

"_My _fault? How is that? If you just went on the date with me in the first place, this-"

"Oh, shut up! I think it's obvious neither of us wants to talk. Now, I'm going back to Girly Cow."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Downstairs Carly rubbed Melanie's back. "I'm sorry, Mel... He had no right to yell at you like that."

"Y-yes, he d-did." Melanie sobbed. "I-I should've n-never let Sam d-do that..."

"Melanie," Carly lifted her face to make Melanie look her in the eye, "It's going to be okay. It's not your fault." Melanie nodded a little bit, neither girl dared to look away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Sam and Freddie watched Girly Cow in silence. They didn't collapse in fits of laughter when Girly Cow found out about the surprise party. They merely sat there with bored expressions on their faces. Only occasionally they would move their arms to get some popcorn out of the bowl Carly had left in there. And every few times, they would reach in at the same time. Their eyes would meet for just a second, before one of them remembered they were angry and looked away.

Finally, Sam got up the nerve to speak. "I'm sorry." Freddie looked up at her. "It was wrong of me to send Melanie on that date... I should've just... gone with you in the first place."

Freddie looked down for a minute. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you." He chuckled a bit. "I actually kind of expected you wouldn't show..."

Sam looked up at him now. Their eyes met, and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. "Hey, wanna check out Spencer's new sculpture?" She wouldn't let that happen! If Freddie kissed her, it would be way too predictable.

"Sure." His reply came halfheartedly.

Sam tried to ignore that and walked slowly over to the sculpture. "He said it was some sort of magnet thing..." She mumbled.

"I think we have to press this button." Freddie's hand rested on a big purple button and pressed. For a minute Sam's and Freddie's hair stood up with static. "Cool." Freddie laughed, Sam chuckling as well. Of course, nothing goes as shown in Spencer's world. The sculpture caught on fire, their hair fell flat.

"Oh, crap!" Sam shouted looking around. "Grab a fire extinguisher!"

"Where?!" Freddie panicked.

She tried to remember so hard where that thing resigned, but all she knew was, they were dead cooked meat if they didn't get out of there soon.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The smoke alarms went off downstairs. Melanie and Carly, were at first a bit oblivious to the sound. Eventually, the two did pull away from their long kiss. "What's going on?" Melanie asked.

"I don't know." Carly looked around.

The two figured it out soon enough and simultaneously shouted, "Sam and Freddie!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Okay, so there's a fire in the house. I bet you didn't see that coming! Since this was dedicated to xoxoalexalex, I felt complied to use her Melanie/Carly idea. Haha, here it is! Enjoy!  
~obsessive-elphaba


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! I just watched "Fanboys" the most HILARIOUS movie for a Star Wars fan like me! Destroy the Trekkies (not my cat of course...). So, I felt in the mood for H-U-M-O-R. Here it is. I believe this will be the big old happy ending.  
Also, REVIEW IT OR SCREW IT!  
~obsessive-elphaba

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Sam!" Freddie shouted, pulling the girl away from the rising flames. She swore she saw his shirt catch fire.

Thinking fast, the girl scanned the room, finally finding the fire extinguisher. "Freddie, look out!" She called, shakily shooting the red bottle. The fire was quickly put out, when, "Oh my god!" Sam shouted.

"What?"

"You're on fire!" What was that thing they said to do... stop drop and tow... pop rocks and... pop lock and drop it? No... She proceded to squirt him with the extinquisher instead. The thing had a lot of force to it when you actually NEEDED to use it, so Sam fell down, Freddie beside her.

"It's over... thank god..." He muttered. "Are you okay?" He smiled a bit.

"Me? What about _you_?" She snapped, but neither were in the mood for fighting.

"Mentally, are you okay? You just saved my life. That's not very normal." Freddie shook his head.

"Are you suggesting I should kill you?" She raised an eyebrow, smirk on her face.

"Just... all this time I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you..." Sam looked up, a bit thoughtful on how to phrase the next part. "I just don't particularly enjoy your presence..." She sighed.

"So..." Freddie mused, an arrogant smile rising to his face. "Can I still have that date?"

Sam laughed for a moment. "Sure." She sighed.

"Promise?"

"Promise." She nodded.

"Is something wrong?" Melanie's voice could be heard.

"Are you guys alright." Carly entered with the blond, hands intertwined.

"Happy as a clown." Freddie smiled. "Yourself?"

"We heard the smoke alarm." Melanie looked around.

"We took care of it." Sam nodded to the fire extinguisher beside her.

"I thought you would be dead." Carly sighed.

"Thank you?" Freddie asked. "I think we resolved the issue. Can you let us out now. I wanna go somewhere else for my DATE!" He cheered, standing up and jumping around.

"Brace yourself, Fredwad, it won't be easy." Sam laughed, and Freddie moon-walked out of the room.

"You accepted the date?" Carly asked.

"Well... I figured, why not?" Sam shrugged.

Melanie signalled her sister in front of her. "Um, yeah... you like him."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

THE END! Should I do an Epiloque? Would that be kewl? Haha REVIEW IT OR SCREW IT!  
~obsessive-elphaba


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue: Kid74c, here it is, you happy? Haha. Ugh, I shouldn't have stayed up all night...  
~obsessive-elphaba

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Sam, are you ssue you want to go through with this?" Carly asked. This was a new level for the blond. She was wearing a skirt. Sure it was a black skirt that had it's edges, and she was wearing leggings... It was still weird.

"YES." Sam rolled her eyes, not wanting to go through this again.

"Carls, chillax." Melanie shook her head. "It's one date. It won't do her any harm."

"I would be worried about Fredwad, not me." Sam chuckled looking back at her friends, who smiled at her.

"Nervous?" Carly smirked.

"No."

"Just a little?" Melanie smiled.

"_No_." Sam snapped.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"FREDDIE!"

"Mom, I'm not going to take my tik lotion with me!" The brunette snapped.

"But your tiks!"

"I don't HAVE tiks!"

"Well, what if she does?!" Mrs. Benson shouted.

"She doesn't!"  
"You don't know where she's been!"

"She doesn't have tiks!" Freddie groaned, leaving the apartment.

Simultaneeously, Sam was backing out of Carly's apartment. They ran into each other. "Hey." She nodded.

"Ready?"

"Yeah..." Sam could hear her heart racing and feel her cheeks flushing as he grabbed her hand. Freddie, on the other hand (literally) was relieved she hadn't killed him yet.

"You don't have tiks do you?" He whispered.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Ta dah. THE END! It's short. I don't care. Sue me. That reminds me: **iCarly isn't mine and never will be... NEVER.** REVIEW IT OR SCREW IT!  
~obsessive-elphaba


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